(Only Be Afraid Of Standing Still)
Managing your past is more than deciding how to think about it. Your thinking is your only connection to your past. What you access in your past depends on how you think of it. When you change your thinking, you also change what you access. It is very similar to how you access a radio station. What broadcast you access depends on what station you have tuned into. If you don’t like the broadcast, you simply change the station. Just as it is not usually necessary for you to change the program on the radio, it is also not necessary for you to rewrite your past. When you switch your thinking, you no longer get the same messages. With time, those particular aspects of your past will wither from disuse.
You may choose to ignore your past. This is feasible and without adverse affects. Since your past is imbedded in your present, you do not have to pay any special attention to the past. You succeed purely by dealing with the present. For this reason, where you have been is not nearly as important as where you are going.
Many people contemplate their past only when there is a problem. They forget that their past is in balance, that is, the good as well as the bad. They often choose to remember the bad and have become harassed by it.
This does not have to be the case. You can benefit from your past by deliberately thinking of the good. Just as bad influences depress you, the good influences will enhance you. You gain strength not just from you own good deeds but from similar deeds that have reinforced yours.
Forgive Yourself
Don’t beat on yourself. You may feel guilty, embarrassed, and think you could have done better. True. But I suggest you forgive yourself. It does not matter that you were not the most brilliant or popular one at school. That you wore an ugly pair of glasses, braces on your teeth, or had freckles and acne. That you were the last to be picked on any team, and you really had no friends. At home things were not easier; a drunken dad, an uncaring mom, or parents who did not get along. You loved a cheating spouse! You endured hardship, abuse, humiliation, and regrets. You may even think that somehow, all these were your fault.
Many people had it better. But you are here today with the possibility to be better. You cannot return to the past to make a fresh start, but you can make today a second chance.
Know that you did your best at the time. So many things were outside your control. Given your age, awareness, attitude, and resources—-you did enough! You did well. That is why you are reading this today. Think about this; are there any people you know with similar experiences who are worse off than you? The fact that you did not get a particular job or promotion only means that at the time you could not get what you wanted. But that time is gone, and is no more. Now is another time, a new time. So much has changed; you and the conditions around you couldn’t possibly be the same. You are certainly older and possibly wiser. You may even be wealthier and more connected. Given similar circumstances, the outcome would be different. Learn from the past, but move forward boldly.